im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
