woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize