i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
