I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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