You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize