singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
