it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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