twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
