I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
