I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
