Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
