she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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