if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize