dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
