well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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