I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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