You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
