so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
