But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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