Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
NoShamevember. You game?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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