the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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