Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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