You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
