dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
