Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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