my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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