What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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