you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize