One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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