Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
