Kiss
Puke
I have demons in me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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