it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
