so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
