He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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