I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
