think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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