Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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