why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
