I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
