she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
