If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
