The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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