FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
