you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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