I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
