I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
