tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I need to align my fucking chakras
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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