Sry I called you an 8
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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