They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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