Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't deserve a penis
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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