Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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