Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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