apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
