Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize