i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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