went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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