I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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