This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize