Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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