i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
