I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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