Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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