Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
