I haven't been this sober since birth.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize