I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
