What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
