I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
