Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
