also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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