My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
