I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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