I need help removing her.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
